Most of us want someone who will truly love and care about us. The problem is however finding the right person to love and have him/her appreciate or enjoy your love.
During highschool, we find ourselves dating several guys. We get hurt a lot and hurt many too. All this time, we are trying to find that one right someone to love us and make us feel in another world. Somebody to appreciate us. What we want is to enjoy life with whoever comes our way and has class.
Joining campus is thought and seen as a gate to good times, lots of experience and many more now that we are far from our parents harshness, the nosey villagers and relatives. At this point nobody wants to be tied to that one person. Freedom is exploited through what we see as fun, good wholesome relationships.
My best friend in campus was brought up in the village. I will call her Joy. She never had a chance to go out explore life like town girls did. Our first day in campus was a learning one. Three of us in a room listening to this town girl. As she narrated of her drinking life. This particular village girl only had keshas to talk about which wasn't fun compared to the town girl's stories.
We decided to go out drink and it's how shee's life changed. She met a lawyer whose pockets were good. I mean he would buy us meat and drinks to our fill. He would spoil us and helped shee upgrade her wardrobe. They started dating and the girl would no longer spend nights in our campus room. Her class had upgraded.
Shee became vulnerabe because she wanted love. Their relationship did not start off on the right foot because she wanted to impress the lawyer who used to spoil her with money. Good is paid with good (a saying directly translated from my mother tongue). She din't want to see the man going out with anyone else apart from her. She negleted all her standards and morals to encourage the relation grow.
Village girl now decided to move in and started staying with the love of her life. Life changed. The man started getting to the house late. He beat up the lady several times. He had lost respect for her. He picked a lot at her which ended hurting her. Their love life was stinking. The love no longer treated her right. She however thought that by showing him more love he would change. He even aborted because the man wasn't ready to be a dad.
You cannot change a person no matter how you love them
If you magnify your relationship several times, you will be able to see whether in future your partner will go out on you. A man will slip around with other girls, he will lose his temper, he will hit you. During the dating period, especially after having sex with a dude, you'll get to see how you will be treated if you ever become his wife.
Many of us do not do this. We move in quickly. We forget our parents advices. Yes, they are old, they are married, they are enjoying it. Why not me? We rush to sexual relationships so that we do not lose them. After all we already had sex. We are all sinners. We feel guilty but do not want to ask God for forgiveness because we will still get back there.
If you give in to all that your partner wants in the name of not hurting them you will have to live by that and be ready to get hurt. If you have sex once before marriage, be ready to have it oftenly if you are not breaking up at the moment. If someone does not want you, you can never make them love you no matter what you try. Whether you do all styles in bed it will change nothing, either way you are just proving your hoe life. He will just be there to enjoy your sex. I mean it's the act he wants not you.
It is all about sex
The first mistake we ever make is not accepting and maintaining a steady relationship with God. Sex is holy and is meant for the married. It is not a proof of love. God's love is free and it is not like any other love you can ever encounter in your life because it is wholesome. Nothing lacks in the love that God gives. Do not ever believe that you can live without love. No! you can't. God's love should always be counted on. He is always there and never changes.
If you get into a relationship in a hurry be ready to get hurt. You will think, well, I like him and he likes me. Why don't we just go ahead and see if this sex business will work. You get into something you are not supposed to be in. Having sex and you are not married. Sex is not just a physical act to be carried out just because you have all the sexual organs. It also involves emotions. Be careful. You do not have to regret.